Oh geez, do NOT play word assocation with me!

Original, spontaneous working title: Melanoma, Carcinoma, Salmonella, oh my!

In an effort to eat healthier (I'm not totally on the healthful-is-more-awesome-than-healthy bandwagon) and (tbh) to save my dwindling petty cash, I packed a lunch today.
I should have known better. I ended up eating an over-priced and under-satisfying lunch out instead.  So while I'm counting sheep and wondering why, even though I am exhausted and daydream about taking naps, I can't ever seem to fall asleep before 2:00 am, I realize-my lunch is still packed and on top of the washing machine.
And I start playing the game.  How much of my lunch will still be edible tomorrow if it stays in the lunch bag?  I hate going grocery shopping and just did my monthly trip (okay, it was 6 weeks between shopping trips this time, I admit it) two days ago. I really hate to waste perfectly yummy cheese. But who am I kidding? I am not getting out of bed to unpack now.  So what is salvageable in there?  What is the worst thing that would happen if I ate my sandwich tomorrow?  And isn't cheese already moldy? 

And now I'm hungry. And wide awake. 

Still not getting out of bed.

on Fat

I am fat. Now, don't get your panties in a bunch. I really am fat, obese, even morbidly obese according to “the charts.” I'm not bedridden, immobile, or even outwardly disgusting (at least not that anyone has admitted to me). But I am ridiculously overweight, thanks completely to my own choices and admitted laziness. 

I am also 40. My perspective on turning 40 was a positive one. I was ready for it. My childhood was miserable, my teenage years painful, my 20's a haze, and my 30's.....so glad they are over. I am ready for 40. 40 and fabulous! (So clichéd, I know. But maybe a cliché or two would be good for me. So far, life without clichés hasn't been stellar.) I even scored the fabulous new job two weeks before my birthday. I am taking this “I am 40; hear me roar” theme to the hilt. Except for one thing (well two, but I'd rather deal with my fat than my dirty house at this moment). I am still fat.

I've been asking myself what it would take to finally, finally motivate me to get off my fluffy duff and do something about my weight. I still don't really have that answer. I've been slapped in the face with many things that I thought surely would do it, such as not being able to tie my shoes without unzipping my jeans, not being able to run more than 30 yards without hyperventilating, not really being able to be hugged by my daughter except around my neck. None of those have lasted longer than the thought cloud in which they floated. 

Cue the Imagine Dragons anthem of 2013.....”It's Time.” (Don't sing the part about getting bigger. That deflates the momentum I'm building here.)

And yet....it's time to begin. It just is. No, I'm not going to wax Nike at you. I've just decided. That's it. No bang. But I'm not whimpering either. I'm just ready. Now you need to get ready. Because you're going to hear all about it. Fair warning.

*Please let this be my first and last disclaimer. My blog and my thoughts are all about me. I am one person. I do not represent world views nor anyone other than myself. Please do not take my comments about my personal obesity to be an opinion, view, or reflection on anyone else's weight or any group of people, skinny, medium, large, or plus-size. I am only talking about me. And sometimes her. And many of our feathers.